Not Your Average Love Poem

Write me no mushy love poems
Gushing scarlet passion like treacle
And dripping ardor all over my shirt.

Save me from your blaze of yearning
Burning feverishly with hot desire and
Hungrily consuming my lonely heart.

Give me not the fool’s-gold flash of twinkling stars
Long dead before you gift wrap them in poem, and
Pray, leave the moon in the sky where it belongs.

Spare me your furious declarations of devotion, I beg you.
For as they cloak you in your illusions of Lord Byron,
They leave me sticky and longing for a shower.

Give me instead a small bunch of white daisies
Picked fresh in a sweet smelling meadow
Where they grow lazily in the midday sun.

Shower me with candy hearts.
Then kiss away the sweet chocolaty love
That lingers at the corner of my mouth.

Delight me with your wit and oddball views.
Make me groan with painful puns and
Reduce me to tears of laughter.

Caress me with a back rub when the day weighs heavy.
And, while you’re there, scratch that itch in the center
That I can never reach without a fork from the drawer.

Warm me with a scented bath, lovingly drawn,
Served up with flickering candles and hot cocoa, then
Tuck me in with my cat for a night filled with dreams of you.

Poem me this, and  I'll know you love me.

This is my offering for One Shot Wednesday.  Pay them a visit to read what others have to say today.


  1. Excellent both in wordplay and message. The early part made me laugh and the ending made me sigh. Very nice!

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  3. I love it Patti, oh the desire is burning me...and yes you will know he loves you when he does all that and more to you. Great oneshot and that last line got me..perfect! x

  4. ha. that is an amazing love poem...with quite a few smiles along the way...sticky and in need of a shower...smiles. nice one shot!

  5. awesome Patti!

    I love your pooh-poohing of the blazing love of youth with moon tricks and shower-inducing wordplay. Instead you rise to the alternate of a pronged back scratch fever that you give great eloquence to! You have seen true love
    and I desire your vision

  6. so right you are, Patti, I think you hit the mark without becoming a Hallmark card (my greatest fear)
    joy to your loved one who deserves this,
    present and attentive,

  7. Several years ago I wrote a poem in this vein - may I say yours is 100 times better poem-wise. I think it's good to write these things down, if only so that we ourselves know what we expect of love. Well done!

  8. Nothing shows he cares better than coming home to a bubble bath.

  9. Patti...?
    I have some 'Imported' Belgian chocolate from the Dollar General....
    I have a Barry White album...In Vinyl!!

  10. Daisies are my favorite flower...and what's a bed without a cat tucked in behind the knees? Loved this poem, Patti. It's honesty is superb. I can see how our two poems could merge beautifully - isn't that neat?

  11. Ha! to be saved from a Byronic blaze of yearning... not your average love poem indeed! Brilliant, Patti

  12. Patti, Patti, Patti...you have cut this "Love" poet to the bone..the ardor of my scarlet passions is quenched by the misty moonlight dripping from my flooding eyes... :( NOT!! :)
    Great love poem, my friend...Fantastic!
    Now...where is my pen with the little hearts on it?

  13. Sure a nice way to end up cuddled and in love and in passion.. in anyway love is love... I liked the fresh out look to it.. or rather, let me say it I believe that the poets and romantics version is rather uncommon in these mordern times. Just a thought..
    Liked your poem a lot ...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

  14. I think you've got that about right. Nice one.

  15. Patty, great - great poem!
    I love it!

    Amazing One Shot :)

  16. Wonderful commentary on mature love and what really matters. Thanks.

  17. PERFECT Patti..this poem totally blew me away..so sweet..tender..that love you feel..last line is a TOTAL BLISS..love it :)))

  18. Tuck you in with your CAT? Excuse me? If *I* were to tuck you in, there would be NO CATS involved. I'm just sayin'.

  19. Delightful, Patti. I love a man with a sense of humor, even if there are "painful puns" involved. Laughter is so good for us. The back rub,scented bath etc. sound pretty wonderful as well.

  20. I love the joy of the laughter -- it is worth so much more than just romance ---it is what makes us love that person all the more - the purity of happiness...bkm

  21. I use a knife from the drawer, much to my childrens' horror.

  22. Once we've disposed of all the baubles and trappings and get right down to it, love is simple. I really liked this One Shot, Patti!

  23. Great One shot. Strong words on how love should be.

  24. Put me in mind of two different songs, "Don't Throw Bouquets at Me" and "Peel me a Grape" yet this has a different message from either with the beauty and loved expressed in simple and caring things. Well done. Gay @beachanny

  25. Lovely write as usual Patti. I'm sure they'll be no mushy stuff but simple pleasures coming your way. great

  26. That last line stood out for me Patti, I agree totally about all of this, it is the little things that count so much more than the passion that does not last in reality!! A wonderful oneshot...Many Hugs my friend xxxx

  27. To all of you kind enough to visit and say that you liked my somewhat non-traditional love poem, thank you. It was my hope to bring a smile to your faces and a warm fuzzy feeling to your hearts. Sounds like I succeeded.

    Jeff: You mean you lost it???

    KB: Isn't that the truth!

    G-Man: Oh, you are a rascal! You sure know how to woo a girl!

    Talon: It is neat!

    Tracy: Great comment. I love it.

    Lou: I'm going to take that in a good way.

    Alice: Oh, try a fork. It works much better. The kids get over it.

    Thanks again, Everyone.

  28. I so love this poem! It just got better and better and by the ending I was...in a swoon! Wonderful!

  29. Sherry: Thank you, and welcome! I home you'll come again.

  30. Now that's a love poem. Definitely has that unique quality to it - it's not just beautiful, but real. Puns and all. Great poem for One Shot, Patti!

  31. A true love poem...one of the best I've read!

  32. cianphelan and Anonymous: Thank you for coming to read and for your kind comments. Come again!

  33. LOL - you speak truth ... Well written, Patti. Playful ...

    I see you've done WordPress and Blogger. Which do you like best? Am really struggling with the appearance of my Blogger blog ... and I miss all the WordPress nicities ...

    Happy Friday! :-)

  34. Jamie: Blogger and WordPress each have features that I like. But it's easier to tell you what I find to be the downside of each.

    I find the tiny entry window for the body of a post on WordPress to be hard to work with. And there have been times I've had a hard time navigating. The sidebar stuff is challenging too. The ability to edit comments rather than delete them is nice, though. As a commenter, I'd like the ability to preview a comment before posting it, which Blogger provides.

    On Blogger, I wish I could answer each comment individually as I can on WordPress. I like that Blogger allows readers to subscribe to posts or comments by e-mail rather than Google reader or any of the other aggregators.

    I guess what I'm saying here is that I wish I could have the best of both.

  35. Oh so great, Patti! I especially like the line about leaving the moon in the sky where it belongs. Your way with words is fabulous here!

  36. mmmmm inviting, lovely, loving...and excellent

  37. Okay, now I thought it was just my fault that I couldn't figure out how to comment on blogger.

    Did you know you can set up your wordpress so that comments don't post until you approve them? That way you can read them first just as you wish to do. I've just starting doing that with Moonlight so that I don't miss responding on any.

    Thanks for your feedback.

  38. Not your average writer either! This sings of the page...er screen. -J

  39. Sherry: Thank you, and welcome! I home you'll come again.


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