5/03/2011

And when the door finally closes


And when the door finally closes
And the sound of your footsteps fade
Along with the harsh words you
Toss in my face as you turn to leave,
I’ll breathe, and forgive myself for not
Walking through the door long before.

And when the door finally closes,
I won’t say goodbye.  I’ll remember
The times I hurried to open it to find
You, offering flowers and regret, and
I  reached out to draw you back in,
Thinking he didn’t mean it.

And when the door finally closes
And the sound of your footsteps fade,
I won’t search the empty walkway for you.
I’ll close my ears to the memory sounds of
Stomping and strutting and swearing,
Anger speaking sharply in every heel click.

And when the door finally closes
And the sound of your footsteps fade
Along with the harsh words you
Toss in my face as you turn to leave,
I’ll listen instead for the whimpered words
Of our son as he cried in his sleep.

And when the door finally closes
And the sound of your footsteps fade
Along with the harsh words you
Toss in my face as you turn to leave, I'll forget
The blows you tossed in my face when you stayed
And open the door to myself, finally.

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This was written for One Shot Poetry.

28 comments:

  1. One closes and another one opens hopefully. Strange how it takes so long for women to slam that door behind an abusive relationship.

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  2. good riddance to bad rubbish i always heard...smiles. love the repitition patti...it builds nicely

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  3. Unfortunately I can- can relate to these last words and closing door.
    Greatly done, Patti

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  4. amazing poem.. really felt the emotion. great write!

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  5. Powerful with an excellent last line.

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  6. The repetition enhance the effect of the abuse, and these lines really got to me,
    "I’ll listen instead for the whimpered words
    Of our son as he cried in his sleep."
    Meaningful as well as emotional.

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  7. great poem sad story thanks for sharing

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  8. Domestic violence is a situation that erodes confidence, independence, trust, self-esteem. I commend anyone who's able to extricate themselves from it. Great post.

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  9. I almost don't know what to say to this, Patti, except I hope the door closes forever and soon for any and all people who find themselves in these horrors.

    This was exceptionally good.

    Xxoo

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  10. "And open the door to myself, finally."

    yes. you build to this very nicely... i hope she continues to walk in the freedom of that open door...

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  11. Love the build up and release to the last line. Admirable piece. Thank you for sharing.

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  12. Open the door to a life of peace-lovely!

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  13. Beautifully written. Your words evoke such a sense of regret, and renewed hope. I hope the footsteps fade forever.

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  14. oh that last line Patti...a deep sigh and a heart full of lovingkindess...beautiful!

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  15. One of the best pieces I have the the pleasure to read in a very long time.

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  16. In your work, you have a powerful way of nailing the challenges of relationships. And there are so many. I love the positive twist at the end.

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  17. I find always, there is a charm to repetitive lines in poetry. It gives a certain power to the poem, and here, it just oozed. You have a way with words, Patti. Beautifully said!

    My One Shot Poem

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  18. love that she finally opens the door to herself and closes it on the bad man. beautiful, sad, but still hopeful.

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  19. Love how you use the repetition to steadily build the narrator's confidence into an independence. I'm sure they will be just fine now that they have lost the loser and found themselves.

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  20. I can honestly say I've never been in an abusive relationship (Yes, women abuse men, too). That said, it doesn't mean I can't find myself transported there by a good poem - that I can't empathize and understand. I do. And I love this piece. Well done.

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  21. Sometimes you take out the trash, sometimes the trash takes itself out. Nice piece, PK

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  22. That's liberating!! The sadness is so well masked by that promise made to oneself..the promise to see oneself FREE!! Memories (even the unpleasant ones) can help in taking us where we REALLY wish to be...provided we steer them well!

    Such a wonderfully well written poem, Patti... leaves a lasting impression on one's mind.. for mine, for sure!

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  23. There's a life journey in these stanzas... strength, determination, decision and change all launched from a foundation of closing the right door.

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  24. This was filled with both pain and hope. Wonderfully crafted.

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  25. Powerfully orchestrated form and message. I enjoyed what the refrains added to the emotional impact of the piece. Nicely written ~ Rose

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