8/17/2010

Switching to Manual


I pause.
Eyes closed, I see the things
hidden behind the bright glare of living.

I see bright yellow sunshine,
spread warm and buttery
over the popcorn
moments of my day.
 I see the soft round delight
of a baby’s bottom,
check to palm,
plump and luscious
as a freshly picked peach.
I see time in the grains of sand
sifting like eons through
my fingers,
each a tiny moment
of the past captured for dwellers
of the future to examine on a warm beach.
I see cool, crisp comfort in the sweep of clean white sheets,
beckoning me to climb aboard
and travel to a land where
anything is possible
and nothing is real.
I see you,
hardness cloaked
in the soft pretty costume 
you wear for public viewing,
strength lurking within, at the ready
to strike out at my vulnerability.
I see shock and sadness,
moist and salty,
sliding slowly down the
slopes of your complacency,
washing away the smile
I once planted there.
And I see me,
more willow than oak,
more diamonds than dust,
More now than then,
and, at last, more me than you.

Eyes opened,
I'm ready to move on.

************************************
This is my offering for One Shot Wednesday.

47 comments:

  1. That was excellently done - so deep thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  2. this was a wonderful write patti...so much to be said about the things we see...particularly when we look at ourselves...nice one shot!

    ReplyDelete
  3. such beautiful words - thanks for sharing the popcorn
    moments of your day with us...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem with us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow. Beautiful. I like the imagery. Each thought, complete.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The imagery combined with the sensory details describes the contemplative moment with great depth.
    Happy One Shot!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Inside out and outside in
    I love your deep reflection on you

    Your words always a wonder Patti

    thanks for sharing with One Shot
    Moon smiles

    ReplyDelete
  8. Very thought provoking...I liked this one a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Patti...
    I have this problem of trying to determine what caused such poetic inspirations.
    This was brilliant..
    I'll mind my own business...G

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love it Patti..this is really beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anthony: "deep thinking'! Wow, thanks. I don't hear that very often

    Brian: I think we sometimes "see" the important things when we stop looking for them. Thanks for liking what I saw.

    Claudia and Magnus: Thank you for coming. I'm happy to share. Come back any time!

    Lou: Thank you! Your kinds words mean a lot.

    Dustus: I usually think of myself as a visual person, but sometimes touch tells me more. Thanks for coming.

    Leslie: Oh, you are always so sweet. Thank you!

    Janice; I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for visiting.

    Galen: Ah, I've always wanted to be a woman of mystery. Maybe I'm learning a bit about not letting it all hang out there for the world to see. ;-)

    Desert Rose: Thank you! I'm glad you like it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The mystery starts to unfold as we examine ourselves. Nicely done and well written. I enjoyed it. Thank you for posting. Gay

    ReplyDelete
  13. I see your words as experiences of days past... reflecting renews and refreshes our present outlook. Beautiful poetry!

    ReplyDelete
  14. This? Should be published. Again and again and again. Consider that an official request from your very favorite editor (your mom). Won't you please consider submitting it to Indie Ink for publishing?


    These words of yours quiver like a well-played saxophone, the air holds the notes and the voice suspended in time.

    I absolutely LOVE this poem.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Gay: Thank you for your kind words. i really appreciate them, and your visit. I hope you'll come again.

    redkathy: Thank you. Renew and refresh - yes, indeed.

    Ti: Yes, Mom. OK, it's done. I sent it to Indie Ink, naming you are referring editor. And thank you for being so complimentary. Wow! "voice suspended in time." Love that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love the flow of you work here. It speaks so from the heart. My first thought upon finishing it is - what was the prompt and back story. Give us a clue.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I really liked "sliding down the slopes of your complacency". The sound is smooth, the image immediate. I like your writing!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Interesting "list" poem and movements between the inner and out worlds and the consequences. Thanks for dropping by to read and comment on I’m the beast that you fear, in the shadows of night

    ReplyDelete
  19. the popcorn was so beautifully said..infact so was the whole poem..so you moved on..but left a legacy with this piece..cheers pete

    ReplyDelete
  20. I especially liked this...

    "washing away the smile
    I once planted there"

    I like the idea of planting a smile. Sad to see it washed away.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Fantastic poem Patti and the words are beautiful..loved this stanza..

    "I see you,
    hardness cloaked
    in the soft pretty costume
    you wear for public viewing,
    strength lurking within, at the ready
    to strike out at my vulnerability."

    Cheers~

    ReplyDelete
  22. lovely. Thanks for sharing what you see and in doing so reminding us to really look at what's right in front of us right now.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This was such a powerful and wonderful poem. It's so important to see who we are - and not in relation to who we are to someone else. You captured that brilliantly, PattiKen!

    ReplyDelete
  24. You really know how to draw in your reader Patti. The first stanza had me, but your images gave me pause and smile. Nice write

    ReplyDelete
  25. MM; Thanks for the compliment. Prompt? Back story? Hmmm. Tough one. I frequently look at my photos in search of inspiration. A photo of a beach got me started. The only possible back story was a bad relationship many years ago in which I got lost. But that's a stretch. Chalk it up to too much TV.

    Grandmother: Thank you, my good friend.

    John: Being a real neophte at this, I didn't know there was such an animal as a "list poem." I'll check that out. Thanks for visiting.

    Pete: Thank you! I'm glad it worked.

    LL Barkat: In this case, I was picturing something more like wiping the smirk off his face. Thanks for coming.

    Wild Rose: Thank you! That was my favorite too.

    Suzicate: Thank you. I often feel I "see" best with my eyes closed.

    Talon: Thank you. It was a lesson hard learned for me. And I'm guessing for many women.

    kkridge: Thank you. I appreciate your comments.

    ReplyDelete
  26. You know what I like best about this piece? The willow. ;^)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Beautiful!! When one begins to look within and see all those hidden strengths and virtues, one emerges out stronger than before!
    This was a very poignant and inspiring read, Patti...
    Enjoyed it!!! And the imagery is lovely!!!!
    Thanks for sharing this positive piece...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Wow-- So strong! The last 2 verses gave me chills-- excellent write!
    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  29. This was a powerful write Patti...A lot to be said about what we see. Such a wonderful One Shot xx

    ReplyDelete
  30. Loved it Patti...Your other blogs look interesting too. Shall drop by to read them.
    Cheers
    suja

    ReplyDelete
  31. I couldn't help it. I've passed you the Goddess Award for this post.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh, I heard every word of this one. The last few lines, especially, are, well, special.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Willow:

    Kavita: Thank you so much for your generous comments. I'm smiling, smiling.

    mairmusic: Chills. Oh I like that. Thank you!

    buttercup; Thank you. Sometimes we just need to close our eyes and look.

    suja: Hi, welcome! I'm glad you came by. I love company!

    Ti: Oh, you sweet thing. I'm almost struck dumb by your praise. Well, OK, maybe not, because then I couldn't tell how grateful I am, and how glad that I can call you friend.

    Fireblossom: Thank you! I've noticed that women readers seem to "feel" this piece more than men. It makes me ponder about our make-up and/or world view that brings about such a personal response.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Patti, this is exquisite! You're amazingly spot on in your ability to write words that evoke such feeling in the reader. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Took me a long time to get here, but it was definitely worth the trip. :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. I love this reflective, introspective look at what lives behind the bright glare... the detailed study of what 'real' means in this poet's life - joyful, lovely moments. Then after the hard part about seeing the real 'you', coming to 'me' was such a delight:

    And I see me,
    more willow than oak,
    more diamonds than dust,
    More now than then,
    and, at last, more me than you.


    Great use of imagery throughout - I think my favourite is the sifting sand/eons one - and a great title too.

    Just a wonderful poem, wonderful read. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Wow, Patti, can you ever write a poem! I love this.....the sadness sliding down the slopes of complacency, the buttery popcorn moments of your day, the you "more willow than oak", and the closing lines. WOW! Fantastic write! I so love your poems.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Terrific write Patti. Really a great job. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  39. I see this is a "resurrected" poem, but one I've never read. Just beautiful -- love the thought of climbing aboard the sweep of clean white sheets. The beginning and ending are so abrupt, but tucked within is such beautiful details ... Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  40. so many gossamer lines woven though this poem...beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh, this is simply lovely! The simple things in life are the most memorable, and you've captured them so beautifully here!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Well worthy of a repost--it vividly resurrected a very bad relationship for me, but that just means its good writing. Thanks for bringing it out today.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I like the simple images that you drew...the everyday life...then the last lines of the nature and direction of their relationship. I specially like the last two lines ~ lovely share ~

    ReplyDelete
  44. Absolutely beautiful, and real......and "Then I see me" and the lines that follow. Absolutely perfect. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Well done. An evocation of "My Favorite Things" transformed by the last lines into an anthem for personal emotional survival.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Holy hell...that had forty pounds of well placed explosives behind it. that was a powerful and well placed coming out party. Crazy good.

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts? I would love to hear from you.