3/08/2011

Just Before Dawn


Some call it “the magic hour,”
When darkness lies heavy like a blanket.
From the silence beyond the circle of lamplight
Comes no sound but whispers of the night.
The old house creaks and groans
After a day on arthritic knees and
A sympathetic hoot owl calls back softly.

A night hawk swoops past, tires humming, 
At the end of a long interstate week
Or on the drunken weave home from
The after-hours bar out on Route 10.
Every so often, at the edge of hearing,
Echoes the faint cry of the woman next door
As she answers the angry call of her mate.

Just before dawn, sirens scream and
The world sighs in its sleep.
Some call it “the magic hour.”
I call it insomnia.


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Written for One Shot Wednesday.

3/05/2011

Checkmate


"You really are a self-centered prick."  Though she says it to see a reaction on his eternally passive face, even as the words leave her mouth, she knows they are true.

He lifts his eyes from the board in front of him, and looks at her over the top of his glasses.  “And you, my dear, are a coward.”  The words are coated in sarcasm.

As she watches him make a small adjustment to his formation, she thinks that she should have known better than to expect any other reaction.

He evaluates the adjustment he’s just made, nods slightly, then leans back in his chair and takes a sip of his Merlot.  A small satisfied smile hovers around his mouth.  

“Your move.”

She considers the board.  Nothing is ever as it seems when playing with him.  She suspects he has laid a trap for her, one of his favorite gambits, and that little smile reinforces the suspicion.  He is a master at building a false sense of security in his opponents, allowing them the illusion of success.  He dangles victory before their eyes, almost close enough to grasp.  Like a hungry animal lured by the scent of nourishment, many times she has reached for it, only to tumble into one of his traps and lose the game in a heartbeat.

The game is treacherous.  When she first discovered it, she lurked, watching others play and admiring their skill.  It most reminded her of sitting in the game park at Washington Square, watching the players who congregated there, hunched over their boards.  As she had in the park, she finally mustered up the courage to get in the game, only to be trounced royally and in short order.   

In subsequent battles, her game improved, but a win always stayed just out of reach.  And she has developed her skills over time; she knows that.  Since she entered the game, she has won some of her rounds with the other players.  But he is a master strategist, and she has never managed to outwit him.   As much as it irks her to admit it, she knows that the challenge she faces in her sorties against him must be given credit for honing her game play.  

Now, as she studies the field, she sees no obvious trap.  In fact, she sees little she can do to move her position forward.  With his last move, he moved one of his lieutenants a few paces to the left, tightening a gap in the security of his line.  Of course.  She’d been planning to slip a scout through that unprotected opening and ambush him from the rear.  Time to devise an alternative strategy.

“Sometime today would be nice, sweetheart,” he says, strumming his fingers lightly on the tabletop.  

She knows he is trying to distract her and she ignores him, keeping her focus on the board. That’s been her problem all along.  His diversions are often successful with her.  She notes that the other players seldom fall for his ploys, and though it doesn’t happen often, every one of them can claim a victory.  

Of course, the other players, save one, didn’t fall into bed with him either. Big mistake.  B.I.G. mistake.  She feels the fool every time she thinks of how easily she was seduced.  When he shone his considerable charm -- which he could turn on and off as easily as flicking a switch, damn him – in her direction, she was toast.  She fell, as surely as her troops eventually fall in the game.  

She shakes off the thought.  Holding her breath slightly, she positions her squad in the burned out village just south of his line, and then moves one of her courtesans out of the building where she’s been concealed, and into the open.  It’s risky to step into the open so early in the game, but she’s hoping it catches him by surprise.  After all, risky moves have not been her forte.  It’s not for no reason that she has earned the epithet of “coward” from him.  Since the beginning, he’s been encouraging her to get outside her comfort zone.  All her life, she has operated on the belief that until one is sure of a safe landing, jumping off a cliff is best avoided.  But she’s finally coming to realize that he may be right: timidity wins no wars.

“Your move.”

She lifts her glass to her lips and takes a sip of her wine, willing her heart to settle down.  And this is the problem. She has never been able to handle risk well.  Her palms moisten, her breath becomes short, and her heart pounds as though trying to escape her body.  Her “tells,” which she knows he is able to read.  Heaven knows, he has called her on them often enough.  She fights to hide her nervousness as watches him study the board.  She prays the risk will pay off, rather than bringing the swift defeat she has become so familiar with.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

She watches the smug look creep across his face.  He’s going to take the bait.  She knows he sees her move as foolish, placing a member of her team out in the open and exposing her position.  And she knows he smells victory in her apparent vulnerability.  She represses her own smug smile as she thinks, That’s not victory you smell, pal. That’s a whore’s perfume, which I knew you couldn’t resist.

He turns his squad and moves them to surround the village, deploying a pentagram gambit.

He raises his glass to her in mock salute.

“Check.”  

His eyes gleam with their own message.  “Was there ever any doubt?”  She knows that there was never any doubt that his intent was to crush her, to “take her out,” as he always has.  

She allows him a few moments to gloat, then she moves each member of her team from concealment.  The move puts every one of his squad into a direct line of fire.  Even the whores have a weapon trained on them.

She lifts her eyes to look into his astonished face as she drains her glass.  The wine has never tasted sweeter.

 “Checkmate.” 

***********************************

Written for the Tenth Daughter of Memory.

3/04/2011

Nightfall


 awareness flickers
in the shadows angels call
end of day answers



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Written for Haiku Friday, hosted by LouCeeL



3/01/2011

The Theatre of You

Pretending in performance
wrapped in rhyme, each word
draped in red and gold threads,
you believe yourself invisible
behind the brocade of your poetry.  

False lines scripted onto the page,
weaving patterns of 
life and longing,
love and loss,
peace and pain,
hope and horror:
all fabricated from whole cloth. 

No director in the dark behind the scenes
nor puppeteer beyond the curtain
pulling heartstrings, you. 
With every rhyme, every weave
of word threaded with the color of life,  
the curtain of your theatre parts a bit more
and the spotlight shines brighter on your stage,
revealing the actor who has not lived at all.

******************************

Written for One Shot Wednesday.

2/15/2011

Bridge, Badly Played


Is that really the card
you want to play? 
Is it just sadness
that brings out the worst
or are you, deep down,
always this way?
Does bereavement entitle
the bereaved to be thoughtless?
Does your pain trump
and take the day? 

Fine.
You win.
I guess this
just isn’t my game.

****************************

Written for One Shot Wednesday.


2/08/2011

Godspeed


When is it over?
When are we done?
When have our lives
Finished their run?

A stroke of his scythe
Took half of her brain,
And left organs failing
In a cascading chain.

Though unconscious, she lingered,
Her breath fed by machine,
In a place neither here nor there
But somewhere between.

When she was younger
And could still speak her mind
She said, “When my time comes,
Please let me die. That would be kind.”

But now the end is near and
Her old body is ready to go.
It’s so hard for them to say goodbye,
And accept what they know.

Because she loved them,
There was nothing they lacked.
Because they love her,
It’s time to give back.

The machines and tubes are gone now.
The lights are dimmed and she’s resting in peace.
They sit by her side and watch her last breaths.
“We love you, Mom.  Thank you.  Godspeed.”

As I write this, my husband and his sisters are sitting with their 94-year-old mother as she dies. She often said that the one thing she feared the most was to have a stroke that would destroy her brain, leaving her to linger trapped in a useless body.  She had watched her mother-in-law’s life end that way, and she asked her children not to let that happen to her.

Yesterday morning (Saturday), she had a massive stroke that destroyed the right side of her brain. Medical science can keep her alive, but it can never give her back what she has lost. Were she to live, she would be paralyzed on the left side and blind in the left eye, which is the only eye with any vision left.  She would probably be unable to speak and be understood. And she would never again be able to appreciate music, which was one of the few pleasures she had left. 

As hard as it is for her children to honor her wishes, they love her, and so they have.  Tonight, the respirator and all the tubes were removed.  Without them, her breath will likely slow, and then end in a few days. She will be kept comfortable, and allowed to go peacefully, her family at her side.

Godspeed, Mary.

Update:  She died Wednesday night, slipping away peacefully with her family around her.

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Written for One Shot Wednesday.



2/01/2011

One Night Stand












 

At her door, Jack Frost wrapped himself around her,
Thrilling her with his chill breath upon her neck,
Running frigid fingers up and down her spine, and
Playing cool jazz on her ribcage as if it were a xylophone.

It didn’t occur to her to ask him in for a nightcap,
But the moment she’d opened the door a crack
His pushed it wide and rushed in past her,
Entering into her home like he lived there.

She’d always had a weakness for bad boys.
You know the mild, gentle ones whose delicate touch,
Barely there, tracing softly with warmth
you barely noticed?  They simply bored her.

Oh, but this one was very bad indeed.  No gentle
Touch or warm caress.  There was little doubt
About his hunger, his need, his drive to devour,
Like a starving polar bear who hasn’t eaten in days.

He howled and whirled like a dervish, spinning
And swirling and piercing her skin with his icy touch,   
And then blew through, as his type always do,
Leaving her shivering and ready for a hot shower.

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Written for One Shot Wednesday.