100 Word Challenge: It's Tradional!

This was written for Velvet Verbosity's 100-Word Challenge. This week's word is "traditional."

It's Traditional!

The small British lad was thrilled to meet his Mum’s best friend from America. She was a soldier! A lady soldier!  

Archie had seen lots of soldiers on the telly. He knew what to do. He smartly saluted the major.
 
She laughed, saying, Oh, Archie, you don’t have to salute me! I’m not wearing my oak leaves today.”

Archie’s eyes brightened. “It’s May 29!”

Confused, she said, “Yes, I know.” Her confusion deepened when Archie reached around and gave her a good pinch on the bottom, and then jumped back out of reach.

Winking, he said, “Sorry, Ma'am, it’s traditional!” 

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May 29 marks the 350th celebration of Royal Oak Day in Britain, when people traditionally wear a sprig of oak leaves in support of the monarchy. Children call it “Pinch-a-Bum Day,” because if a friend can’t produce an oak leaf when asked on that day, they are punished with a pinch on the bottom!  I'm sure it's unlikely that a child would pinch an adult's bum (let alone a soldier's!), but that Archie! He's a rascal!

To learn more about Royal Oak Day, click here.

Friday Flash 55: Laughter, Good for What Ails You

Art Linkletter died this week at 97 years old, leaving behind his wife of 74 years. I take this as proof that laughter may well be the best medicine.

Linkletter loved to laugh, and to make us laugh too. His favorite sources of humor were children. Kids say the darndest things, you know.



RIP, Art.

Theme Thursday: Wrinkle Me This

The theme for the week at Theme Thursday is "wrinkle."  For an unusual (and really old) look at wrinkles, I offer you this:



...and some good advice for us all:

Wordless Wednesday: Burgled by a Half-Assed Boat Burgler

Sonny Crockett? Not So Much.

She: You need a shave.

He: Why? Sonny Crockett could carry off a couple of days’ growth.

She: Sonny Crockett was tall.

He: Not so tall. Tubbs was the tall one.

She: OK. But Sonny Crockett was thin.

He: Yeah, there is that.

She: It was a fashion statement with him, like the way his clothes just draped.

He: I’ve got stuff that drapes (wiggling his wattle).

She: You still need a shave. Just sayin’.

Climate Change

Back in the day, we lived in a little neighborhood of cottages clustered around a lake. It was a summer community, a silver lake, an inviting place to come to escape the hot summer sun. But we lived there year-round, even when the lake was white with ice, its black inhospitable depths lurking below. We weren’t alone. Several families braved the winters in that summer place, not because they wanted to look out at the cold and unfriendly landscape, but because that was what life was, a four-room year-round place.

One winter day, around dusk, a knock came at the door. It was the mother of a 10-year-old neighborhood boy, asking, “Is Joey here? He hasn’t come home.” The words were like a stop sign, stopping the heart, stopping time, stopping all thoughts of dinner. She went from one door to another, asking the same question at every house where Joey had a friend. None of these few wintertime residents answered, “Sure, he’s here. Come in, get warm, have a cup of tea.”

At one house, however, one of Joey’s friends said they’d played together that day. "I said bye to Joey a while ago, and came home. Joey prob’ly beat me, though, ‘cause he took a shortcut.” Joey lived on the farthest edge of this almost empty summer community, and the long walk home in the near dark must have been scary. So he’d taken a shortcut.

The next day, we heard the news. Joey’s shortcut through the dusky light had turned into a shortcut through his life. The gaping hole in the ice atop the tarnished silver lake told the story of a small boy’s failed attempt to outrun the dark.

It was strange, but somehow summers on that sparkling silver lake in the small summer community were never warm again.

Love in 160 Bites, Part 1

There was this old dude from Duluth

A bit grozzled and long in the tooth

He looked in the mirror

And shuddered in horror

And thought: when did I lose all my youth?

(To be continued)

Got something to say in 160 characters, including spaces?  Visit Monkey Man to play.