7/08/2012

Détente


Soon enough. 

Overhead
stitching the sky in black lace
circling beady eyes on the prize
dipping darting fighting each other off
each intent on scoring the best morsels
salivating...

Below
battered and weakened by a string
of dark days hanging heavy
by a thread woven of pain
unable to move without a stumble
persevering...

Just not now.


***

Linked at dVerse Poets Pub
Posted by PattiKen
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20 comments:

  1. Sherry Blue SkyJuly 8, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    Beautiful and ominous, Patti. The image is spooky:)I like the contrast of "one day...just not now" , a relief against the content of the poem.

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  2. UnspokenJuly 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    Eeeek, I want to be overhead. Below is scary!

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  3. Brian MillerJuly 8, 2012 at 10:17 PM

    nice...i really like the structure of this...interesting perspectives as well....they are coming for you...keep persevering...smiles...

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  4. Madeleine Begun KaneJuly 8, 2012 at 10:26 PM

    Wow, that's good!

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  5. JaniceJuly 9, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    Mmm...I like how you put this together. It packs a lot of power into just a few words. Keep persevering, I always say.

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  6. Grandmother MaryJuly 9, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    What a picture! I'm rooting for those below but recognize the need for those above in the scheme of things.

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  7. AnonymousJuly 9, 2012 at 1:34 PM

    Wow… this is fantastic, Patti. It took me on a time-traveling adventure, right back to a poem I wrote that shares the same name.

    Perspective. It’s a magnificent thing.

    I love the final sentence…

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  8. G-ManJuly 9, 2012 at 4:51 PM

    PattiCake...
    Friday 13th
    FF55 returns
    I'd LOVE to see you...G

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  9. TomJuly 9, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    ooh. what's it mean? I like it though.

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  10. steveroniJuly 9, 2012 at 11:25 PM

    Why oh why Patti, am I 'seeing' the human race as I read your well-crafted thought-words, and glance at those patient Peeps-in-waiting.

    Good work!
    Steve

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  11. car loansJuly 10, 2012 at 12:26 PM

    you are amazing. This truly touched me. Very intense use of words.

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  12. PattiKenJuly 10, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    Dear "car loans" - I suspect you are spam, but you said nice things, so you can stay.

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  13. DaydreamertooJuly 10, 2012 at 7:22 PM

    Awww... such is the way of life and... death. Good for the hungry, bad for the food.
    Chilling but powerful in its imagery Patti, great write!

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  14. Brian MillerJuly 10, 2012 at 7:33 PM

    its pretty funny patti...the spammers are making actual comments now...smiles...got a few myself the last couple days...but they are commenting on content though..huh, go figure....always good to see you ma'am

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  15. ScarletJuly 10, 2012 at 9:18 PM

    Nice format and interesting thoughts...I feel something dark is coming ~ Great to see you ~

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  16. Marbles in My PocketJuly 10, 2012 at 9:58 PM

    Great write on the struggle of life and death. Very vivid and real. Nice one! Gritty, but nicely done!

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  17. MaryJuly 11, 2012 at 5:17 PM

    A strong write here, Patti! Thought-provoking fare!

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  18. Ginny BrannanJuly 11, 2012 at 6:09 PM

    There are always vultures willing to circle and go for the weak, in nature and in life. Great capture!

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  19. ayalaJuly 12, 2012 at 8:18 PM

    Nicely penned, lovely !

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  20. SelmaJuly 22, 2012 at 10:00 PM

    This is really good, Patti. I really like the imagery, the vibe of it. This line is killer - 'stitching the sky in black lace.' LOVE IT!!!!

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Thoughts? I would love to hear from you.

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