9/05/2010

An Apple a Day


"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

He can't decide if it is this bizarre and totally annoying trend toward vegetarianism and getting more roughage or an increase in the number of people living without health insurance, but he does know it is wreaking havoc with his diet. Don't these prats know that man is a carnivore, perfectly designed for the consumption of meat? Why else have canine teeth and incisors, if not to rend and tear flesh?  Were people intended to eat weeds, they'd be built like cows.  OK, so some of them were built like cows, but that's beside the point.

In days gone by, there were more hunters than gatherers. Man went out, slayed the fatted calf and gored the ox, and brought the meat back to feed the family. Even the women bragged about "bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan." Bacon! Now, that's what he's talking about!  Nothing like a little saturated fat to guarantee a delicious meal.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Bugger!  A bloke could starve to death.

Jack decides he is going to have to start making house calls again.

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This was written for Magpie Tales, where the delicious-looking apple pictured above was the prompt.

15 comments:

  1. Ha! Yep, Jack had better start pushing the house calls! It sounds like his practice is suffering. Clever, Patti.

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  2. He should poison the apple supply. Hehehe...

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  3. hm...what does jack do....that would require house calls...

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  4. Clever take...applesauce go well with pork... and nixes out the bad....does it not...?...bkm

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  5. It sounds like Jack is off to eat his patients.

    I loved his little rant.

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  6. Janice: Yep. house calls may be the answer. Not everyone can have room service, after all.

    Jeff: What with tofu, wheat grass and spirulina, I'm not sure that would do it. Maybe he should add a health food shop to his practice. There's more than one way to...

    Brian: What indeed?

    bkm: Applesauce with "pork." I love it. And pork is surely one of Jack's favorite meals.

    Mama Zen: Thank you.

    Nessa: You think? I'm glad you liked his rant. That may have come right from the writer's heart.

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  7. ah poor jack - i had a vegetarian phase as well - and luckily my husband survived somehow...

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  8. hmmma a little cannibalism perhaps...fun read!

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  9. Obviously not Jack Sprat. Hehee.

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  10. Dr. Jack is on the right track!

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  11. Oh, oh, this may be our first fight! It had to come, I guess. I've been a vegetarian for 14 years, eat a low fat, high fiber diet and LOVE it! I'm healthy, slim, have no medical problems, take no meds and ran a marathon last year. Don't miss meat at all and have found Italian dishes galore to relish, so, I'm sold on the lifestyle.

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  12. Ah, I have no problem with it. Although not a vegetarian, I love vegetables and fruit, and eat very little meat. But Jack? Now that's a whole other story. He's opposed to anything that keeps people from visiting the doctor. You know, pesky, annoying things like good health. Because a guy could starve to death, you know. ;-)

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  13. hehehhe... loved this one!
    I had a year long spell of vegetarianism... but that was mainly to test my will :) Nothing to do with liking/not liking meat :)
    Now, I am BACK to seafood and white meat! My hubby, who was once an all-veggie, has "risen" to my level too... and I NEVER even asked him to! sheeesshh...
    ENJOYED read your post, Patti!

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  14. House calls can be a good thing for the right reason! What a clever piece this is!

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Thoughts? I would love to hear from you.