5/05/2016

Lost

"Touch me / Remind me who I am. 
~ Stanley Kunitz, Touch Me, 1995


                  I'm lost in the mist, seeking your touch.
                  Are you there? Take my hand and lead me.
                  I can’t find my way with nothing to remind
                  me that you’re close, walking beside me.
                  I hear voices in the fog, but don’t know who
                  they are. Is one of them you, my love? I
                  need to know so I’ll know where I am.


***

Written for dVerse Poet's Pub. Today's prompt calls for a poem in a form called "The Golden Shovel."

According to Writer's Digest, these are the rules for the Golden Shovel:

- Take a line (or lines) from a poem you admire.
- Use each word in the line (or lines) as an end word in your poem.
- Keep the end words in order.
- Give credit to the poet who originally wrote the line (or lines).
- The new poem does not have to be about the same subject as the poem that offers the end words.

.

29 comments:

  1. The thought of being lost, the need for a touch to lead us... Yes I really know that feeling.

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    1. The older we fet, the more apt we are to feel that way. So many elderly feel they've become invisible. And if they fall victim to Alzheimer's, they become invisible even to themselves. Sad.

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  2. Is one of them you, my love?
    I need to know so
    I’ll know where I am.

    One often is faced by that feelings of being ignored without knowing the reasons. This is frequently experienced by many who are bothered with other distractions. Rightly so Patti!

    Hank

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  3. Oh this is so beautifully touching..!!

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  4. Patti, I love that you took a line that said "remind me who I am" and turned it into a poem ending in "where I am." There is a big difference between those two things. I feel like our speaker has found her identity...just needs to find her true north. I love that spin.

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    1. I'm glad you liked it, De, and that you saw a positive spin on it.

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  5. So I'll know where I am.... cause that is so important also. Lovely

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    1. Yes, it is. Thank you for coming.

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  6. Gayle Walters RoseMay 6, 2016 at 11:00 PM

    I understand the feeling. I think sometimes we need some "feedback" from people to gauge how we're doing in the world. Although I think it would be great if we had total self awareness and felt secure in just how we are.

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    1. I agree, Gayle. It's a goal worth striving for.

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  7. Sometimes knowing your own place in the scheme of things needs a little touch of friendly guidance. Lovely.

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    1. Indeed. Thanks for stopping by, Gemma.

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  8. This is really excellent. Your golden shovel poem takes the theme of the line you chose and expands on the theme & gives it meaning that leaves the reader with a 'gulp' at the end. Loved this one.

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    1. Thank you, Mary! I'm happy it worked.

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  9. I can really feel the emotion in this piece. The confusion and isolation is well conveyed.

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    1. That's just what I was going for, Suzy. Thank you!

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  10. For some reason, & hey, I'm not very religious, this poem was metaphor for reconnecting with Jesus; just had this tremendous spiritual vibe for me; lovely & lost. Just saw the Chet Baker documentary, LET'S GET LOST; cool.

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    1. Interesting take on it, Glenn. Totally not intended though. I was thinking of someone slipping into old age, and losing their memories and sense of self. I was inspired by the Kunitz poem --it's always been one of my favorites -- and its last lines really grab me.

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  11. A beautiful sentiment. Well expressed.

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  12. Oh, this is beautiful! Also enjoyed reading Stanley Kunitz' poem 'Touch Me'. Both had me traveling down the path of Alzheimer and dementia. Very poignant.

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  13. This poem filled me with the inner peace that I need today...and I love the photo that you chose...

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Thoughts? I would love to hear from you.