11/09/2010

Sartre in the Rain


It wasn’t that I thought we’d ever sit in a café
On the Rue St. Antoine on a rainy day
Sipping wine and discussing Sartre.
It wasn’t even that I didn’t know

You were summer and I autumn.
You always said that the subtle symphony
Of September plays sweeter
Than the arrogant opera of June.

And it certainly wasn’t that I really
Wanted you to drop it all and
Declare your angst-filled devotion
To what was an illusion in the first place.

It wasn’t any of that.

It was the way your words
Awakened my imagination, and
Filled it with fantasies of chestnuts,
The Marais and Margaux.   

It was how you beckoned to thoughts
Long hiding in a dusty cupboard and
Gave them reason come out and play,
Cavorting and dancing drunkenly.

It was me flirting with the past
And remembering a time when
I was June and you September and
We sat in a café discussing Sartre.

Don't you just love time travel?

45 comments:

  1. Time travel is the very best kind of travel- transports us together and apart, between worlds, outside and beside ourselves.

    There's a powerful undercurrent just below the lilting, lyrical meter... it ebbs and flows, sweeps and carries the reader with amazing strength of purpose.

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  2. heck yeah i do...especially when it turns thoughts such as these...a magical write patti...

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  3. Your poem is pulling me away into another world. To sit and sip wine and discuss the depth of Sartre - fanciful and yet a trip I would gladly take. Set the dials please

    Moonie hugs for a friend

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  4. You know, this actually made me think of my hubby and me! :) We are the North and South poles really... Only, 7 years back, he was North and me South.. and now, it's the other way around! :) Or so I think
    But one thing is for sure.. opposites attract! Like crazy!! :)
    And yes, time travel ROCKS!!! It is very very very real!

    Totally enjoyed this one, Patti!!! xoxoxoox

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  5. Not only do I love time travel, I love this poem! It was gorgeous!

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  6. Ah, Patti, this took me there and then sent me on my own time travel...I just love a free vacation. Loved this!

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  7. Love this Patti, this piece of yours I have to place it way up there...just everything about it the relationship, the time travel, the cafe...very nice....bkm

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  8. Your poem is yours but it struck chords with me. I had to re-read it to see it as yours. I didn't take the trip to Paris with my husband also worlds apart in some ways but by then life and death apart but we discussed philosophies, and art and cuisine in my imagination as I sat in a cafe on le rive gauche very much like the one in your picture. Thank you for the bond. Gay

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  9. Pattiken .. I love this piece of time travel. It is so true...it's so nice to travel back in time, even if only in mind. Some memories are just too wonderful & too beautiful not to re-visit!
    I really did love this!!!

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  10. Patti...
    Your story was Tres Bien!
    I once had an 69 Chateaux Margaux. But Not for long..hehehehe
    You are such a terrific Writer, I just LOVE visiting your blog.....G

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  11. First of all,I LOVE THE RAIN!I fell in love with your pic before I even read your poem.

    Travelling back to memory lane can be bittersweet,but who can resist them?

    Love this one!!

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  12. I love how, in the travel, you switched places between the subtle symphony and arrogant opera. You words pulled me in from the beginning, and the goes along perfectly. Lovely prose.

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  13. I did a bit of creative remembering/imagining myself today that skirted around romance. I think that you gave love a more robust glow though. Nice one Patti

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  14. I particularly love the second stanza. It sounds just perfect.

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  15. Romantic and sweet and relatable.

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  16. Lovely time travel.... your lines

    'It was how you beckoned to thoughts
    Long hiding in a dusty cupboard and
    Gave them reason come out and play'

    got me thinking and could relate to it so much... thanks for sharing..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  17. Time travel is indeed marvelous. You kindly remind readers they need not limit themselves to the teleportation and out-of-body experience (OBE) of their sleeping dreams. Thanks to Jannie Funster for introducing me to your blog. Little did I know I was already in Paris! Absolumment magnifique!

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  18. Wonderfully whistful - I loved that little twist in the end too. Nice One Shot, Patti!

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  19. i all honesty i thought this was a wonderful write...so much beauty and flow....and yep time travel...right on!!!! cheers pete

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  20. I like all the worlds to be found inside one's head.

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  21. The beauty and sadness of reminiscing. Really great work. =3

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  22. Yours are these poems one finds hard to comment on, because one just gets so pleased after reading them... there is nothing to say... just read and read and enjoy it once and again...

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  23. I'm with Lou- you're good! How wonderful to savor life's special moments.

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  24. This is a wonderfully rich nostalgic bittersweet poem. It took me on a little trip back in memory. I love the way you switched the June-September thing. Life is one big circle..........fabulously evocative writing. I love it!

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  25. Ah, your subtle innuendos.

    How very rude. Should've mentioned this months ago.

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  26. What? You mean you don't remember???

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  27. Patti appreciate what you said on OSW - if that site becomes a trough I will...
    We have always encouraged people to read one poem. If someone has the time to read 150 poems then that is their choice.
    It takes me days and I never get through but I do enjoy each piece because I take the time to become one with the words on the page. Poetry like a fine wine shouldnt be gulped - ever

    Love to you

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  28. Thank you for your visits and comments, everyone. I read some wonderful work this week. Bravo to you all.

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  29. Patti,
    Your poem made me feel that excitement of remembering really connecting with someone and passionately being able to talk for hours. The trip back in time to France was even more special. Lovely poem xo

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  30. i can feel this piece..it has a texture..love the time travel idea and love the play on the seasons. i may would cut some "the"'s and "and"'s if it were my poem but apart from this, you're painting a picture i can see

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  31. still think this is magical...love this line...

    the subtle symphony
    Of September plays sweeter
    Than the arrogant opera of June

    and then the wrap to it in the end patti...great to see you at dverse...

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  32. Your writing evokes deep undercurrents, but in such a wonderfully understated way. The writing and the imagery don't get in the way of the thoughts. The last line sort of reverses the tone and brings us out of reminiscence and into a question for the immediate present. At first I was wondering if the last line was essential, but without it, it would be a different poem. I enjoyed this immensely.

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  33. I love when you write about love - you always do it with such class, flirting and lite..at heart that wishes for that moment...bkm

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  34. Hi Patti, absolutely delightful piece that drew me in gently but firmly right from the beginning. The one thing I would like to address here is structure and capitalisation. In free-verse poetry, I find capitals at the beginning of lines can be very distracting and often impede the flow of the piece. I'm also a big fan of tercets, they seem to work exceptionally well when there is enjambment within a piece as there is here. I hope you don't mind but I've just tinkered with the structure and capitalisation a little just to demonstrate how a few small changes can improve the overall look and flow of piece.



    It wasn’t that I thought we’d ever sit in a café
    on the Rue St. Antoine on a rainy day,
    sipping wine and discussing Sartre.

    It wasn’t even that I didn’t know
    you were summer and I autumn;
    you always said that the subtle symphony

    of September plays sweeter
    than the arrogant opera of June.
    And it certainly wasn’t that I really

    wanted you to drop it all and
    declare your angst-filled devotion
    to what was an illusion in the first place.

    It wasn’t any of that.

    It was the way your words
    awakened my imagination, and
    filled it with fantasies of chestnuts,

    The Marais and Margaux.
    It was how you beckoned to thoughts
    long hiding in a dusty cupboard and

    gave them reason come out and play,
    cavorting and dancing drunkenly.
    It was me flirting with the past

    and remembering a time when
    I was June and you September and
    we sat in a café discussing Sartre.

    Don't you just love time travel?


    I'm not entirely sure about your last line to be honest. I'd be tempted to cut it and end where the piece comes full circle with Sartre and perhaps allude to time travel in the title maybe?

    I adore this section

    the subtle symphony

    of September plays sweeter
    than the arrogant opera of June.

    These are of course just suggestions to be considered.

    Carys

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  35. Patti,
    Beautiful Poem! We strive to do flash backs, to relive the glory. We enjoy the fun, wallow in self pity may be but most all we share with a loved one pleasurable moments. Thanks for sharing the emotions!

    Hank

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  36. Your ending took me completely by surprise. I must admit, as a woman of 52, I was kinda hoping it was a lovely affair with a man of 38. Ah well...

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  37. Lovely. Puts me in the mood travel. And I just landed home. I'll blame it on your poem if I'm troubled for flying off again.

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  38. I agree with Carys on the last line. This is such a time-still, ethereal, beautiful beautiful poem! I felt myself in the relationship so much thanks for sharing! Evocative and I want to read more!
    Amy Jo

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  39. A nice read, reminiscing is something we do all the time, it's lovely and sad too, *condition applies

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  40. I really enjoyed your view~ How moments arrive in memories and play upon our senses~ It is sad, but
    wonderful~

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  41. Patti, I SO LOVE this poem. I wouldnt have thought of it, but the comment from Carys about removing the last line, would indeed bring the poem full circle. I love the reverie, the nostalgia and the reversing of the june-september allusion. Wow. And the title is enough to draw a reader in all by itself. Fantastic work, kiddo.

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Thoughts? I would love to hear from you.