tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5798063279768967876.post2955799556662838103..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.739-04:00Comments on PattiKen and the Muses: Neptune's Payback - Part 2PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5798063279768967876.post-40631092293853492512011-05-14T21:57:31.226-04:002011-05-14T21:57:31.226-04:00I had to read the sentence where he "crawled ...I had to read the sentence where he "crawled along the tracks" several times before I understood it properly. The change in tense had me. But I then realized it referred to a past action - and not an action in the present tense.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13024392628362568010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5798063279768967876.post-53575764473019155782011-05-10T00:54:01.100-04:002011-05-10T00:54:01.100-04:00Edit: "The only way he can explain what happe...Edit: "The only way he can explain what happened <b>when</b> had pulled out..."<br /><br />Dialog's too expository. Not as tight as your other recent work.<br /><br /><i>The Italian Job</i> has been eclipsed by Mr. Brown.JeffScapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00190641629175438603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5798063279768967876.post-86411859928192725612011-05-09T21:27:53.150-04:002011-05-09T21:27:53.150-04:00These Tenth Daughters are getting longer and longe...These Tenth Daughters are getting longer and longer :)! That's a good sign. It will fun to see where you go.Unspokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16065870952905767595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5798063279768967876.post-30851849536319572232011-05-07T07:15:27.598-04:002011-05-07T07:15:27.598-04:00well...i can see where this one is blowing up on y...well...i can see where this one is blowing up on you...you have a lot to play with in it...still very intriguing...best wishes on getting her wrangled in before the deadline.Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.com